When is the perfect time to fall in love again?
That is one of the important questions that I keep on pondering these days. Not because of the season, but because I think I have finally found someone who matches my standard. Hopefully, she might be what my heart desires.
Technically, I have been single for a few years already. Of course, I don’t count cheezy MU relationships that are only meant for teenagers. I shouldn’t engage myself on that kind of connections anymore.
Maybe, the question should be, “When is the perfect time to be in love again?” since I am concerned for a permanent relationship. Falling in love is just one thing; being in love is another story.
Since even my most serious relationships failed, I have some doubts whether to start over again or not. Maybe doubts only sugarcoats fear. To be honest, I am afraid to fall and be in love again. Although I know that choosing to love takes some risk, I am not fully convinced if I am ready to take such risks especially this time.
I have some priorities in mind, but I am thinking if this difficult decision can be one of those priorities.
Like what the Bible said that the heart is deceitful and it is the wellspring of life, I should be more careful in deciphering my feelings because I don’t want to hurt anyone again and of course, I don’t want to be hurt along the way. I don’t want to make a crucial choice as if I am just deciding if I will buy doughnuts or not.
So for this time, I have to take it easily but surely. I hope she can wait, and I hope that I’ll have her YES when the right time comes. I just need time to think and talk to God for this. I am not making God an excuse for not taking the move. I just want to turn to Him first this time than to forget Him in the process.
God has written wonderful chapters of my love story even though some of those chapters ended not so nicely. I am sure that He is not through in my story yet. I am excited what He is about to write soon. For now, I’ll be waiting and hoping.
This is ME — thinking as an adult.