I bought my new laptop.
I finished my deadlines in school.
I won my battles.
My wisdom tooth doesn’t ache anymore at least for the meantime.
My schedule is still very smooth, and I feel no pressure from any other tasks.
I’ve finished almost 65 books already.
I spent endless hours in idleness, and I enjoyed more than enough.
So what else would hinder me to finish my most prolonged and important endeavor: my thesis writing?
For the past two months after my data gathering, I found my self lost in space leaving my mission somewhere I wouldn’t notice it.
I devoted myself to other things–some were important while some were just so petty that I could live without doing them. I made my life free from writing my thesis, but doing so actually imprisoned me with thicker things to accomplish.
Towards the end of this year, I’ve faced several turnarounds and turning points where I tried to recollect my passion and will to continue writing my thesis. But passion remained as it was without grandiose actions. My realizations forced me to act, but I became hopeless.
No matter how much I attempted to get back on track, I chose to mess up and somewhat ruin everything. Being stagnant on doing a cause feels like being left in the middle of the ocean. It’s daunting.
Feats and other breakthroughs cannot conceal the thing that my heart desires to finish.
Now, I have to finally have the actual courage to overcome it. I have to devote time to start writing. I need to finish the race.
That moment starts now. Really. Now.