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I Am Not Invincible

In the middle of the night, I woke up suffering an indescribable pain.

When I slept few nights ago, I was not feeling well. I had fever, and I had that kind of feeling that I felt so weak. I took paracetamol and stayed for a little while and read a book. I felt so bloated that time, and I wasn’t sure what was wrong.

No matter how difficult it was for me to sleep at night, my body eventually surrendered. I traveled far in my dream. I witnessed a former presidential candidate become a fastfood manager. I saw a dog eating a cat alive. I was climbing up a statue, and it got broken. I fell. These events and a lot more twisted me from one place to another.

Then I awoke.

My stomach still hurt. I wanted to vomit. In my first attempt, I failed. When I felt that something inside me desired to get out, I tried again. I was hoping the food I ate would explode, but everything that went out was fluids.

I was not expecting this to happen. Was I?

After an hour of contemplation, I tried to continue my sleep. I was successful. When I doze, I felt somewhat relaxed.

I wish I could stay home for the day, but I needed to go to work. I got up and fixed my things.

While praying on the way, I realized that I am not invincible. I’ve been working on my paper all this time, and perhaps I’ve depended too much on my own abilities. Although I have faith that God will bring me out of these challenges, maybe I’ve relied on myself too much.

I had to learn this lesson that this battle is not just mine. In my weakness, I find strength in God.

The rest of the week was a test. I haven’t exposed myself to my important paper works but only to important daily work. I had to pause and be still. I endured the pain till healing came.

God is indeed great! He is awesome, powerful God.

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