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I Know How It Feels

Mark 14:27-31 narrates the conversation of Peter and Jesus with the other disciples. While Jesus was telling that many will disown him, Peter interrupted and promised that he would never do that. Then, Jesus told him that before the rooster crowed twice, Peter would have disowned Jesus thrice.

 

It happened.

 

In Mark 14:66-72, Peter told people that he never knew Jesus. At the end of the chapter, Mark chronicled, “… And he broke down and wept. ”

 

I am guilty of making promises especially to the Lord. From small things to big ones. I am guilty of the same offense that Peter did.

 

Surely, Peter was with Jesus during the times  when Jesus was teaching, healing, and casting miracles. Above all, he spent times with the Lord who treated him like a friend. Jesus might have done greater things for Peter that might not even be written in the scriptures. Of course, I can’t tell… But by faith, I’m sure Jesus did.

 

Since I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior, I’ve made several promises and commitments. I fulfilled some, but I failed many. I feel what Peter felt. Every time I committed a sin… Every time I could have helped or gave but I didn’t… Every time I remember that I have not prayed. Every time I should have acted as salt and light but I did not. Every time I have the opportunity to share Jesus but I kept Him.

 

I know how Peter felt.

 

I don’t deserve his love.  I don’t deserve a portion of His reason for dying on the cross. I don’t deserve His sacrifice. Yet He still did it. He still chose me. He still loves me.

 

I know how Peter felt. To receive such love and grace that I don’t deserve. The mystery of the love of Jesus remains…

 

I hope I’ll never do it over and over again.

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