I need to finish this quail eggs as soon as I can. I’m really starving, but I don’t feel eating lunch yet. It’s still early, but not as late that I have to eat lunch.
One more bite. I’m thinking about my things that are still in the library. I just escape to photocopy some materials, and of course, to eat.
Here I am. After the last, I run to the copying center. I hope it’s done.
When I arrive, the lady is still standing in front of the copying machine holding the book I borrowed. I’m sweating and my heart is pumping so fast.
I sit. I wait. I try to lose my mind for a while and just sit here without thinking anything. As in blank.
Then, I hear a familiar voice– a sweet voice actually.
I glance at her feet. I am afraid to look up because she might look at me, and I know I cannot handle that. Her voice is absorbing me. I feel like being hugged so tight.
She talks to the same lady who is attending me, and I can’t help but recognize familiarity. I know I heard her voice somewhere. I can’t remember when but I’m certain that that should be very long time ago.
I risk everything, and I stare at her. She looks back. Our eyes meet.
My goodness. We were classmates in one class, but we were not that close. We even did not speak to each other. I remember her because she was my crush. She is still my crush. Her face haven’t changed. She remains as attractive and as pleasant as ever. Maybe, better.
I glance elsewhere. I hope I am not blushing even if I feel that I am.
After she gives the instructions, she moves. She moves near me. Nearer.
She rests her body in the same bench I am sitting. The bench squeaks. Talk about cooperation. Fate doesn’t. Perhaps, that makes her uncomfortable. She moves to another bench.
I don’t know if she notices that I am looking at her using my peripheral vision. She looks amazing even if I only see mirage.
All of a sudden, my memory brings me the times that I came to that class–the same class we attended–and look forward to see her every time. There was never a time that I did not stare at her. She’s irresistible. I haven’t talked to her. Not even once. I was just a secret admirer who stalked her facebook account. I dragged the scroll bar, and I looked at every picture she had. I like her. I wished I could like her photos, too because they are too good to be likable. When she talked in class, I listened. When she laughed, I felt an earthquake. Her smile was like a tsunami that stopped my world.
Whenever she missed our class, I felt so incomplete. It felt like waking up on a very bad day. Without her in class made me unmotivated, disinterested, and directionless.
I regret that we never talked. My admiration was silent. And I almost forgot about her.
Except now. She’s sitting on a bench across mine.
I want to open my lips and tell her that we shared a class. I open them, but no words are coming out.
Perhaps, I’ll just keep it that way. I am hoping that she’s looking at me, too. I am hoping she remembers me. I hope.
The lady comes and hands me the copy. She knows that I look tense because it seems that I don’t know what I’m doing.
I carry all the papers and leave the place.
Goodbye, crush! See you again!