Classes were suspended for two days due to heavy rains. That means I didn’t have to go to work. Hence, I had two days of complete rest (of course, additional two more for the weekends).
But for the past days, I’ve been experiencing the kind of sadness that I usually feel before during Ber months. I’ve been tracking down the source of this inevitable feeling.
Perhaps, I was just tired. In the first three days of this week, I’ve been very workaholic. I even stayed late at work last Wednesday just to finish some errands. My physical body might be the source of this feeling, and I might just be running out of batteries.
If it wasn’t, I might blame the weather. With two days of constant pouring of rain from the sky, I can’t help but feel extremely cold. Although I do not cry or whatsoever, I felt a pang in my heart that I couldn’t explain.
Do I need someone? Do I need something? Am I lacking anything? Many thoughts have been running in my head. Plus, I got a sty since Monday that made me more irritated.
I’ve watched few movies and finished a book. Occasionally, I did some work out. I even went out with some cool people. But these distractions did not take away entirely what I was feeling.
Until I continued reading the book “Act Like a Man” from Victory (actually, it’s a gift from a special student). I was in the second chapter when I realized the answer to my problem.
Probably, I missed God.
Yes, I do pray everyday. I whisper thanks and petitions to my Heavenly Father everyday, but perhaps my intimacy with Him was not rock solid that I feel this emptiness in me that only Him can fill. Suddenly, I erased all my theories and still myself to the most important antidote to my dilemma.
It was God whom I needed all this time.
I have to go. I think I need God.